Do you already have a safe word picked out? Do you think that vanilla is only suitable as an ice cream flavor? Do you believe that pleasure is sweetened when contrasted with pain? You’re in the right place! Bondage and kink, though outside of the norm by definition, is anything but new or unique. Humans are kinky! Need a little help navigating the many routes for BDSM play? Read on!

What restraints should I use to tie up my partner?

A restraint is any system or device that limits movement or maintains a position. These include handcuffs, rope, tape, or most commonly, nylon or leather straps. These comfortable straps are often designed to fasten with other cuffs and systems for a completely customized setup! Bed restraints are a perfect starting point for these setups, and the Under the Bed Restraint System from Sportsheets is among the simplest. With no need for bedposts or mounting hardware, the system slips under any size of mattress and wraps around to cuff you or your partner at the wrists and ankles. When you’re done, just tuck them back under the mattress!

How do hogties work?

A hogtie is a method of restraint that cuffs the wearer’s arms and legs together to leave the submissive partner especially prone to their dom’s desires. Hogtie restraints are either wrapped around the wrists and tied together in the center or composed of comfortable cuffs clasped to an X-shaped fastener. A hogtie system like the Cumfy Hogtie from Fetish Fantasy Series makes quick and simple work of trussing up your sub like a succulent holiday meal with soft, fur-lined cuffs that are usable outside of a hogtie as well!

What makes a good BDSM blindfold or mask?

Bondage play is all about power dynamics. Sensory deprivation yields control for the dominant partner, and loss of sight yields intense anticipation for the submissive. A soft, yet heavy-duty blindfold like the Large Padded Leather Eye Mask by Rouge Garments is comfortable for longtime wear and stays secure with any movement. If you want to lean into the role-play of either partner, you might also consider a mask. The Master Series Bad Bunny Mask from XR can help portray the anonymous submissive ready for your orders or the mysterious stranger intimidating you into submission.

What should I look for in a BDSM gag?

Control over speech is a powerful display of dominance. A gag, when paired with a nonverbal safe word, like three quick taps in succession, can be a thrilling form of deprivation and dungeon aesthetic. Gags come in multiple styles, such as a bit gag, which keeps the mouth open with a bar that sits behind your front teeth, or a ring gag, which spreads the mouth to take things in and out, or a ball gag, which blocks mouth movement altogether. The silicone Stopper Gag by CalExotics is a versatile gag that has a removable stopper to act like a ball gag or ring gag!

What can I do with a collar or leash?

The ultimate symbol of ownership, collars and leashes are used to role-play, guide, tug, whip, choke, assert posture, and most importantly, show who’s in charge. Additionally, collars and leashes are a great tool of BDSM relationships that expand beyond the bedroom. Parading a leashed submissive in front of others is any combination of thrilling, gutsy, or humiliating that you and a partner may desire. A collar like this 3-Ringed Padded Leather Collar from Rouge Garments is as fashionable as it is functional. The ambiguity makes it fun as passers by wonder if you are merely fashion-forward or acting at the behest of a dom. 

What is a chastity cage?

A chastity cage is a creative domination device that locks over the wearer’s penis to prevent them from achieving an erection. By handing the key to a dominant partner, the submissive surrenders all sexual gratification for as long as the dom desires. The CB-6000 Male Chastity Cage is comfortable, lightweight, and bathroom-friendly for long term wear and even airport travel with optional plastic locks!

What about whips, paddles, and other impact play devices?

Things that go “crack” against your body often make up the primary public perception of the BDSM lifestyle, and with good reason! Who doesn’t love a good spanking? Save your hand and add some extra volume with a paddle, flogger, or riding crop. The XOXO Paddle by Sportsheets comes with a negative relief of the letters XOXO across the surface that transfers to the skin with every smack!

How does sensation play figure into bondage?

On the opposite end of impact play, light touches can be even more invigorating than a hard smack. A fluffy feather or cold ball chain tickler can arouse the nerve endings to delightfully unbearable anticipation, especially when one partner is helplessly tied to the bed and blindfolded, anxiously awaiting touch. A Wartenberg wheel like the Stainless Steel Pinwheel by Rouge provides the ultimate in precision nerve ending arousal with sharp needles that roll lightly across the skin.

What is electro stimulation?

Electro stimulation, used in muscular therapy and creatively co-opted for sexual pleasure, incorporates electrical pulses into sensation play. E-stim devices lightly, and usually adjustably, shock the body. The sharp tingle from an electrode is exciting, and in the case of the Zeus Deluxe Edition Twilight Violet Wand Kit from XR, fun to watch too! The five glass stimulation heads, shaped for different sensations and areas of the body, glow purple when powered up, turning your electrosex into a light show! Click here to read the toy review from Super Smash Cache

Do nipple clamps hurt?

Only as much as you want them to! Nipples are the most sensitive body part above the belt, protruding just enough to be pinched, tugged, sucked, and vibrated upon. There are multiple styles to play with that allow you to adjust the level of grip, including tweezers-style nipple clips like the Sincerely Jeweled Nipple Clips from Sportsheets, vice-grip-style clamps like the Master Series Crimson Tied Nipple Clamps from XR, or for a lighter tug, the Hünkyjunk Elongated Nipple Suckers from Oxballs, which form a vacuum against the body for ongoing sucking!

What is urethral sounding?

Sounding is an especially intrusive confluence of pain and pleasure that involves sticking objects into the urethra. The pleasurable burn is contrasted by absolute vulnerability to the inserter. Go deep enough with a safe-enough device that offers some give, like those in the Master Series Invasion Silicone Sound Set, and you may reach the highly erogenous prostate!

Looks like there are a lot of toys. Are there bondage starter kits?

Absolutely! If you want to try physical restraint, impact play, and role-play all at once, BDSM kits and sets include elements of each so that you can surrender to pleasure instantly! The Sportsheets Intro to S&M Beginners Kit includes faux fur fuzzy handcuffs, a faux leather flogger, and a blindfold for an instant dungeon in one box!

With consent, communication, and a lust for control and/or surrender, the options for bondage and kink play have absolutely no limits (aside from those that you and your partner have established). As you delve deeper, we always continue to add new items to facilitate your creativity!