Let's not beat around the butt about it. Anal play is a thing. Not only is it just a thing, but it's becoming increasingly popular in today's sexually liberated society. In fact, one study showed that 37% of women have tried anal sex and 43% of men have engaged in it. And why shouldn't we? Backdoor play, D-in-B sex, strap on play, pegging—whatever you want to call it—is a way to open up your bedroom experiences, explore a whole new menu of pleasure, and not to mention, become even closer with your partner. It's a trend that is not going anywhere soon.

Whether you're ready to try anal sex or still thinking about the possibility, you might be wondering, where should you even begin? In this post, we're sharing everything you should possibly know about anal sex, right down to the nitty-gritty details.

Let's start from the bottom.

Why Does Anal Sex Feel Good?

One of the biggest reasons to banish the social stigma around butt fun is precisely that: it's fun. The anus is home to thousands of nerve endings, most of which are around the opening. The pleasure of this stimulation alone (even without penetration) is enough to consider embarking on new territory. And yet there's more.

For folks with penises, anal play can bring serious pleasure to the prostate or P-spot. Known colloquially as the male G-spot, it's an erogenous zone made of nerve-dense muscle tissue located about two inches inside the rectum towards the belly. In some people, this area can be so sensitive that they can achieve a prostate orgasm without even touching the penis. Others might enjoy stimulating both at the same time for a "full body" experience.

For vagina owners, anal penetration works its magic by stimulating the erectile tissue connected to the G-spot. Since this area has over 9,000 nerve endings, that's a lot of possible pleasure.

Are you excited yet? Of course you are. But hold your horses: back door play requires a little more prep than P-in-V sex or other types of play. Let's now get into some important prep work and a little basic anatomy while we're at it.

Having "The Talk" About Butt Fun

First things first. Deciding to partake in anal play can be both a thrilling and exciting experience. Like all types of sex, first talk to your partner about what they are comfortable with and what things they might like to try. The fact of the matter is that anal is not for everyone, and that's okay. Figure out if you're on the same page before moving forward.

And despite what movies or TV shows may lead you to believe, just lubing up and slipping in isn't going to happen. You and your partner need to communicate throughout the entire process. Even if you're a person who is normally very quiet during sex, this is the time you want to make yourself heard. Talk to your partner and share how you're feeling, what's working, and what isn't. Let them know if you're experiencing pain or discomfort, and also when things are feeling good too! This is a great experience for developing trust and communication with your partner, all in the name of feeling good and achieving the big O.

Prep Work

Even if you've had your morning coffee, took care of business, and had a super sudsy shower, there's probably one thing you're still concerned about when it comes to anal play: poop.

The fact of the matter is, sometimes, poop happens. It's just the way it is. Despite all your prep work, there's no guarantee that the experience will be entirely poop-free. There might still be some fecal matter involved, but if you're super worried, lay down some plush towels beforehand. You can also place condoms over toys or body parts.

If you want to be as clean as possible, there are special enemas available that can help get your ready for backdoor play. The Cleanstream Inflatable Enema Plug by XR Brands is a favorite, complete with everything you need for feeling extra fresh.

Whichever way you decide to prep, don't forget that between bodily fluids and lubes, all sex is a bit messy no matter what hole you're poking at. And if worse comes to worst, it'll all come out in the wash, right?

Anatomy 101

In case you caught yourself snoozing in the back of the room in Anatomy 101, we're here to bring you a little refresher course.

We're pretty sure you already know that your butthole is your anus (you did click on a post about anal play, after all), but let's go a little deeper. The anus is controlled by your sphincter muscle, which is designed to keep your poop in until you're ready to release. With that being said, it'll probably take a slow start and a little practice in order to learn how to relax those muscles. Once you get those muscles to loosen up, you can start to receive different sized toys and experiment with different types of pleasure.

Further into your anal canal is the rectum. Depending on your anatomy, anal penetration into the rectum can work to massage your prostate (the P-spot) or the G-spot. Both men and women have expressed a satisfying feeling of "fullness" during butt action, but different people feel different things.

If you only remember one important thing about anatomy, remember this: unlike the vagina, the anus and rectum arenot self-lubricating. You'll need to supplement your back door play with lubricants, and those will depend on what types of toys you are using. Let's get into those now.

Lubes for Anal Play

We've already said it once, but we'll say it again: lube, lube, and MORE LUBE is necessary for butt action. No matter how turned on you or your partner is, you're going to need a little extra help in the slipperiness department since the anus and rectum won't be helping out with the lubrication.

Generally speaking, thicker lubricants add a little extra "padding" when to create a more frictionless experience, and some are even specifically designed for butt play. But you want to make sure you're using a lube best suited for your toys too. Remember to avoid silicone-based lubricants with silicone toys, as they can degrade the material.

The carefully crafted formula in Wicked Jelle Anal Lubricant is great choice for those who are looking for a lube that caters to sensitivity. Free of parabens and glycerin, this thick gel is 100% body-safe. The highly concentrated solution is also pH Balanced and long lasting.

 Boy Butter offers a wide range of water-based lubes to experiment with, making them a great option for both anal play and vaginal play. On that note: make sure that you never use the same condom going from vaginal to anal and back again. Keep those germs separate, people!

 And last but not least, if you're not using a silicone toy, Pjur's Original lube is an extra-long-lasting, silicone-based lubricant that is compatible to use with latex condoms. 

Bucked has a line of pH balanced lubricants specifically for anal use, fortified with vitamin E and aloe vera for a fun, frictionless ride.

Toy Talk: Beginner Toys for Anal Play

Before we even get into the amazing toys available for anal play (and there are a lot of them), also consider what you can do without them to lead up to arousal.

Rimming

If it's the first time you and your partner are experimenting with anal, start by showing your partner some love on other body parts that they like having licked, kissed, sucked, bit, stroked, and caressed. Once your partner is turned on, help them acclimate to the sensation of anal stimulation by using your finger or your tongue around the rim of their anus. (Hence, the term "rimming.) 

When you're ready to introduce a toy, this Petite Anal Teaser by Rocks-Off is a great place to start, offering 7 different vibration functions and a small girth.

Butt Plugs, Beads, and Beginner Kits

We can't talk about anal play without mentioning butt plugs. Designed to stretch the anus and stimulate the nerve endings, butt plugs are a great introduction into the world of backdoor play. They come in a variety of sizes, so you can start small and work your way up to bigger plugs as you feel comfortable, and eventually to more advanced play with dildos and penises, if you please. Butt plugs are great on their own, offering a feeling of "fullness." Their tapered insertion helps with entry and their base keeps things in place as well as allowing for easy retrieval. 

 

If you're looking for a good beginner kit, Blush's Luxe Beginner Silicone Butt Plug Kit will do the trick. Each plug has a satin-smooth silicone finish and the three various sizes let you gradually increase the girth and length as you feel comfortable.

And if you're feeling super fancy, check out NS Novelties Rear Assets

For those with vaginas, this is a great time to mention double penetration. As you become more and more comfortable with anal penetration, consider combining both vaginal and anal penetration (with a partner or toys) for a seriously full-body experience. 

 

Beads are another way to feel full while offering a tantalizing sensation during entry or exit that will have you on edge.  Blush's B Yours Basic Beads start small and gradually get bigger, so you can comfortably ease into the string of beads. An easy retrieval ring lets your partner pull it out slow and steady for maximum pleasure. 

Or, if you're feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the options, keep things simple by going for a beginner's kit. The B-Vibe Anal Training and Education Beginners Kit includes everything you need to get started, including three different-sized plugs, lubricant, an enema, travel bag, and even a handy guidebook.

Or consider the Anal Fantasy Beginner's Fantasy Kit by Pipedream, which is full of various toys to explore different types of stimulation. From beaded probes to plugs to finger sleeves to prostate massagers, there's something everyone can get behind.

Medium to Advanced Play

When you start getting comfortable with insertion, the world opens up even more (pun intended). Let's talk vibrating toys.

The Revo Slim by Nexus is a rotating prostate and perineum massager. The perineum is the technical term between the penis and the anus, and it's also full of pleasure-seeking nerve endings. Crafted from velvety-soft silicone, the Revo Slim is perfect for targeting both areas with tons of different vibrating combinations. 

Also great for prostate stimulation, the O-Boy Massager from Rocks-Off is designed to be enjoyed by both beginners and advanced players. Go at it with a partner or enjoy its wonderful magic all on your own. 

And if that isn't already exciting enough, you can even get technical with anal play. Ditto by We-Vibe is a vibrating plug that creates powerful rumbly sensations. With the We-Connect app, you can explore the different modes from your smartphone or pass it off to your partner and let them take total control of your pleasure.

After all this toy talk, you might be wondering where harnesses come into play. Let's dive into pegging now, shall we?

What in the World is Pegging?

You might have heard of the word pegging and assumed it simply meant anal penetration, right? The answer is both “yes” and “no.”

Put broadly, pegging is when anyone wears a strap on and penetrates someone else. The phrase was coined in 2010 by LGBT activist Dan Savage who decided heterosexual couples needed a term for the anal sex that happens when a woman wears a strap on and the man is the receiver. ('Punting' and 'bobbing' were also in the literary race, but ultimately pegging won out). The term is still widely used in heterosexual contexts, but really anyone can enjoy pegging regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

Why does pegging feel good?

Let's first talk about the partner on the receiving end, aka: anyone with a butt. We've already talked about the buttload (sorry) of pleasure-inducing nerve endings around the anus. But for men who have never tried anal penetration, it can bring a whole new experience of sensations, most specifically, massaging of the prostate.

And pegging doesn't just feel good for the receiver. Women can feel pleasure in a few different ways when pegging. Depending on where you position the dildo, vulva-owners can achieve pleasure with every thrust on the clitoris or pubic mound. Some harnesses even come designed with a handy little pocket for holding a vibrator in place to constantly stimulate the clitoris while pegging.

And that's just the physical part. Pegging can be just as hot emotionally as it is physically. Pegging flips the script of which partner is penetrating the other, which has the potential to boost intimacy and trust when partners are open to this switch.

Rounding it all out

Whether you're starting slow with rimming and slim toys or are ready to give pegging a try, let's recap some of the most important things to remember about butt fun.

1. Have the talk with your partner. It’s a must!
2. Lube, lube and more lube…and maybe some towels
3. Start slooooooow
4. Communicate with your partner (and then communicate some more)
5. Enjoy! Or not! If you give it a try and don't like it, no harm. Do what feels best for you.